Kerry Grier heads the Baby Care for Grandparents Workshop at Sunnybrook.
Once a month, a small group of grandparents-to-be gather at Sunnybrook’s Baby Care for Grandparents Workshop, filling the room with a buzz of excitement, curiosity and many eager questions.
Below are a few of the most common questions grandparents come equipped to class with – and my answers to them:
Why do we need to attend a grandparent class? Our kids survived!
This may be true – but not all babies of past generations did survive.
For example, we have drastically reduced sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) through new Back to Sleep guidelines, car seat safety, and other safety guidelines that are important to know!
I was told to put my babies on their sides or tummies – Can’t my grandchild choke if she’s on her back?
We know that it’s important for babies to be on their backs to keep their airways open. Their heads are usually to one side, so it is not a problem if they spit up. In fact, studies show that laying babies on their backs is the safest position.
Won’t the baby be spoiled if she is picked up every time she cries? We were taught that as long as the baby is fed, clean and comfortable, we should let them cry it out.
It is true that the above approach to “disciplining” very young children and babies used to be recommended, but we now know that leaving a baby to cry it out is very stressful for him/her. In the medium-to-long term you will build a child’s confidence by always attending to his/her needs.
All of my babies were formula fed and did just fine. My daughter-in-law feels strongly about breastfeeding, but I think my son should also have an opportunity to bond with the baby. What’s the harm in him bottle-feeding the baby a few feeds a day?
It’s important to know that your daughter-in-law is making the choice she thinks is best for her baby. We know more and more about the benefits of breastfeeding, and information on the topic has changed from the time you first had children. You made the best choices for your babies at the time, and she is doing the same based on current information. There are many other ways your son can bond with his baby, including bathing, soothing and burping the baby.
All my babies were swaddled tightly to help them feel more secure. My son said this is no longer encouraged. What’s with that?
We do loosely wrap babies to keep them warm, but no longer swaddle them with their arms down. Babies need access to their hands to trigger the rooting reflex and to have the Moro reflex. It is important for babies’ well-being, and for breastfeeding, that they are able to move their arms and hands.
What can we do to best support our daughter during the birth and afterwards?
There are plenty of things you can do both before, during and after the birth to help your daughter during this time in her life. Helping prepare meals, take care of pets and communicate with other family members are all useful. Assisting with household tasks and giving the couple the time and space to learn their baby is also helpful.
When your daughter is in labour, it is important to respect the couple’s boundaries, and only arrive at the hospital when asked. This relieves the parents of having to worry about you waiting for hours on end for baby’s arrival.
