Cassie Josephson is a registered nurse who works in pediatrics, a proud aunt to two nieces, and an animal lover who has fostered more than 150 cats and enjoys training her four cats, along with dogs and horses, in her spare time.
She also lives with anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
At the latest Sunnybrook Speaker Series, Cassie described the toll OCD took on her life — and the unique treatment program which finally helped her get better and reach her goals.
Cassie, who lives in Regina, Saskatchewan, received care at Sunnybrook’s Frederick W. Thompson Anxiety Disorders Centre, as part of its innovative residential treatment program for people with severely impairing OCD. The program is the only one of its kind in Canada and open to clients from across the country as well as the United States.
According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, “the main symptoms of OCD are recurrent obsessions or compulsions that interfere with a person’s life.”
Cassie shared that her anxiety and OCD first surfaced in childhood. She was often late for the school bus because she had to adjust her socks and clothing so they felt “just right”. After she once saw a spider inside the mailbox, checking it for insects each time she passed became a ritual. As a teen, she worried about everything from winter driving to what others thought of her.
“My brain would automatically go to the worst-case scenario,” Cassie said. “I started to do whatever I could to gain control and get that ‘just right’ feeling to calm the panic I felt inside.”
By the time she was in her final year of nursing school, at age 21, Cassie started to really struggle with her mental health. She sought care at her local hospital and took a medical leave from school so she could focus on her health.
Cassie credited the psychologist who she began working with during this period for having a tremendously positive impact on her life.
“It’s so important to find a psychologist or a therapist that you mesh with,” Cassie said.
Over time, however, Cassie’s anxiety, depression, and OCD got worse.
Several of the obsessions and compulsions her OCD presented revolved around the number three, or multiples of three, such as touching the light switch three times or controlling how many times her windshield wipers swiped while driving. Her OCD also told her she had to avoid stepping on cracks on the sidewalk, or could only step on certain tiles.
Soon, daily activities such as taking her dog out for a walk or driving became impossible. She stopped driving altogether, and went on long-term disability from work.
“If I did not do exactly as my OCD thought I should, I felt like a complete failure,” she explained.
Cassie’s OCD also began to involve self-harm. Over the next several years, this led to several stays in hospital. Unfortunately, the doctors treating her did not fully recognize her OCD. Instead, Cassie was misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder – an experience she says had a negative impact on her.
“It was counterproductive towards my recovery because it put me on a treatment plan that did not fit my needs,” she said. “What I really needed was intensive and specialized OCD treatment that was not available in Saskatchewan. That’s when I found Sunnybrook’s Thompson Centre.”
Cassie described the care she received at the Thompson Centre as “life-changing”.
“Finding a whole team of professionals who specialize in OCD, who truly understand the struggles it brings without judgment, and who see you for you and not your illness, was pivotal in getting my life back.”
Photo provided by Cassie Josephson
Treatment included various form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, including Exposure and Response Prevention, as well as Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Cassie said she left the program knowing her toolbox of skills and techniques to manage her OCD was fully stocked.
Now living back at home in Regina, Cassie shared that she works hard at using the skills she honed at the Thompson Centre every day. She also continues to regularly see the psychologist she first met years ago.
Cassie said she is proud of how far she has come in her journey.
“I know the mountains I had to climb and the trenches I had to dig myself out of to get where I am today,” she said.
After four years on long-term disability and recovering from a near-fatal case of Serotonin Syndrome, Cassie said she is back to work and finding new purpose and meaning in her job as a pediatric nurse – one of her lifelong dreams. And soon, she plans to purchase her first home.
She added she is now doing the things she loves in life, whether travelling to places like Los Angeles to see a Taylor Swift concert, or exploring new destinations in South America and Asia.
“I accept that in life there are so many things that ultimately we don’t have control over,” Cassie said. “I try to always do things that I love and enjoy, I keep taking steps forward, and I try my best to go with the flow and roll with the punches that life gives.”
Concluded Cassie: “I still have ups and downs and a lot of struggles. But they do not control me and they sure do not define me.”
Learn more about Cassie’s story and the special work of Sunnybrook’s Frederick W. Thompson Anxiety Disorders Centre here.
