As she got older, Tera’s symptoms would come and go in waves, and she managed with therapy. However, in grade 12, Tera experienced a severe manic episode despite not having any family history of bipolar disorder. She was not eating or sleeping for a week, and her mind was racing “like a non-stop caffeine buzz”. Realizing she was not safe to be by herself, Tera called 911, and was admitted to a psychiatry ward for one month for intensive treatment.

While in the hospital, Tera wrote a letter to herself as a reminder of her self-worth and acknowledged, “You are a fighter. Part of being a fighter is accepting the help and love you deserve.” Tera has become a dedicated mental health advocate and feels that sharing her experiences gives her a greater understanding of her own journey. She also hopes it can empower others, and help reduce the stigma around bipolar disorder.

What does resilience mean to you?

I believe that resiliency is embodied by the quote, “Not every day is a good day, but there is good in every day.”

Resiliency happens when you make the choice to bet on yourself, be kind to yourself, and just take things day by day. Even when you’re at your lowest, being resilient means always moving forward, even if you’re taking tiny steps. I find it difficult to be motivated if I don’t have any goals, and achieving these goals gives me a sense of accomplishment. Creating small, manageable tasks and finding the energy to complete them is an important strategy when dealing with a low mood.

What are dark days like for you and how do you find strength and resilience in these moments?

When I am struggling, I really lose all sense of perspective and my mind is taken over by negative thoughts. I lose all faith in my abilities and my relationships with friends and family. I unintentionally isolate myself, and I convince myself that this episode is worse than anything I’ve experienced before. It can be hard to blindly believe that things will get better, so it is important to look at past challenges and triumphs as proof that you can overcome anything.

It is also important to check in with yourself and to have the strength to reach out to others whenever needed. I have taken the time to learn warning signs that I exhibit when I am struggling, which include withdrawing from friends and family. When I notice this happening, I fight the urge to push people away, and tell my loved ones how I’m feeling instead.

“Journaling is really important to help keep my mood and overall well-being in check day-to-day. It allows me to take a few minutes to recognize and appreciate the highlights of my day,” says Tera.

What is in your “tool-kit”? What are the things that help you find strength and resilience?

Journaling is really important to help keep my mood and overall well-being in check day-to-day. It allows me to take a few minutes to recognize and appreciate the highlights of my day. Journaling gives me the opportunity to assess if anything is bothering me, or if I am experiencing any hypomanic or depressive symptoms.

My OCD often causes me to have irrational fears that if I ignore a negative thought, this could somehow cause it to come true. However, when I actually see them written down on paper, I am released from the bonds of this intrusive thinking.

Writing things down helps me acknowledge what I am struggling with, allows me to let things go, and helps me gain perspective. Ensuring that I eat, sleep, and exercise properly is also essential. Getting enough sleep can be difficult socially in university, but it is essential to my well-being.

How do you feel about the future?

At times, it can feel daunting that I don’t have control over when, or if, another manic or depressive episode happens. However, over time and through my experiences, I have developed the tools to be able to handle moments when everything seems to go wrong. The more things I overcome, the more proof I have that I can conquer anything.

I am really proud of my accomplishments over these last few years, and they have given me the confidence and belief that I can tackle whatever comes next.

I don’t feel like my disorders give me any limitations. I know I am well equipped for my next chapter, and I am grateful to feel optimistic about the future.

If you need help in an emergency please call 911 or visit your local emergency department. If you’re feeling like you’re in crisis, or need somebody to talk to, please know that help is also available 24/7 through community resources:

• Phone: toll-free 1-833-456-4566
• Text: 45645
• Chat: crisisservicescanada.ca

The post ‘Resiliency happens when you make the choice to bet on yourself’: Tera’s story appeared first on Your Health Matters.

What does resilience mean to you?

When I think of resilience, I think of the Japanese proverb “Fall down 7 times, get up 8. Resilience is the strength in your inner core that allows you to get back up on your feet after you’ve been knocked down flat.

What are the dark days like for you and how do you find strength and resilience in these moments?

On my darkest days, I am unable to get out of bed and think of nothing but ending my life. I have a strong physical feeling of being kicked in the stomach that just won’t go away. But I am lucky to have a great support system of family, friends and doctors who remind me every day why it’s important to fight. They remind me that I’ve experienced this in the past and was able to overcome it before. As the old adage goes, “This too shall pass.”

“Even if I should stumble and fall back into the pit of depression, I have the tools to help me get back up again,” says Linda.

What is in your “tool-kit”? What are the things that help you find strength and resilience?

I see myself as a “Schizoaffective Translator”. It is important to me to explain to people what it’s like to have this disorder and to help break down the barriers such as stigma and promote understanding of mental illness.

Also in my tool-kit is the great team I have in my corner – family, friends and those in the medical field who always remind me why it’s important to keep living. I now have the experience of getting through the dark times many times over, so I can draw from that experience when things seem bleak and hopeless. It is my mission in life is to help other people get the help they need, so that they don’t suffer needlessly because of stigma or lack of knowledge of mental illness. This keeps me alive.

Becoming an artist is what saved my life. In fact, art helped give me a better life than I’d had before.

In 2009, I joined an art-therapy program believing that I was the least creative person I knew. However, after taking some photos of flowers and selling them, I began to believe that maybe I was artistic – maybe I did have a reason to go on living. I even made a documentary on my experience with schizoaffective disorder and am writing a book about my experience with psychosis.

Through art I was truly transformed.

How do you feel about the future?

At my worst moments, I would wake up in the morning profoundly dreading the day ahead. I counted the hours until I could take my night medication and go back to sleep.

Now, I wake up and am excited about the possibilities the day may bring. I look forward to the many opportunities that have opened up to me through my involvement with the arts.

Even if I should stumble and fall back into the pit of depression, I have the tools to help me get back up again. Plus, I will always have my artwork. No one can ever take away from me the joy of artistic expression.

If you need help in an emergency please call 911 or visit your local emergency department. If you’re feeling like you’re in crisis, or need somebody to talk to, please know that help is also available 24/7 through community resources:

• Phone: toll-free 1-833-456-4566
• Text: 45645
• Chat: crisisservicescanada.ca

The post ‘Resilience is the strength in your inner core that allows you to get back up on your feet’: Linda’s story appeared first on Your Health Matters.

What does resilience mean to you?

Resilience, to me, is a conscious effort of putting yourself first. It’s recognizing that we will always have ups and downs, but also that we owe it to ourselves to take time to fill ourselves back up every day. This doesn’t have to be an expensive vacation or a bubble bath. It could just be taking some time to sleep early, or saying no to hanging out with your friends so you can have some time for yourself to do the things you love. It could be singing, or dancing or just writing down you thoughts. It’s different for everyone.

Resilience is something that has to be learned and cultivated. It’s not easy to be resilient. It takes time, patience and practice, but it is one of the most important things to learn in life. We all have good days and bad days, but we all can work through it with the right supports.

How did you find help and support, given that mental health is seldom discussed in South Asian communities?

Since mental health is still heavily stigmatized in the South Asian community, I started out small and called a helpline to talk to someone anonymously. After that I went to see my family doctor. I was prescribed medication and referred to therapy. Once I felt more comfortable, I started to see a counsellor at my university.

My friends and family have also always been a huge part of my support system. I found that when I was talking to my mom, she cared for me, but didn’t necessarily understand what I was talking about since she was never taught about mental health either. I learned to put my thoughts into terms that were familiar to her, and once she understood, she was able to be there for me throughout my journey.

Reaching out for help wasn’t easy. It was actually kind of scary, but I’m so glad I did it. The lesson I learned is that it may take time, and what works for someone else may not work for you, but it is worth it. You are worth it.

“Resilience, to me, is a conscious effort of putting yourself first. It’s recognizing that we will always have ups and downs, but also that we owe it to ourselves to take time to fill ourselves back up every day,” says Jessie.

What are dark days like for you and how do you find strength and resilience in these moments?

I’ve always been a big reader, and I love the Harry Potter series. I think J.K. Rowling described dark days best through the creatures in the series called the Dementors, which have the power to drain humans of happiness and positive feelings.

My dark days make me feel isolated. It feels like your soul is being sucked out and as though you’ll never know what happiness feels like again. It’s hard to find hope in times like this.

For me, it helps to write down all the wonderful things while I’m in a good place and positive frame of mind, and then look back at them when things are difficult. I’ve also always been a creative. I’ll go dance to lift my spirits or listen to a song I connect with and it’ll help bring me out of my dark place.

I also lean on my friends and family a lot for support. Just hearing them say they’re here for me and that they care makes a world of a difference.

What is in your “took-kit”? What are the things that help you find strength and resilience? 

My tool kit is a little untraditional. It’s filled with good music, empty papers to write on and a room full of mirrors to dance in. I’ve never been good at being vocal about what was going on in my mind or asking for help, but I found that through my creative outlets, I could get those sentiments across. Dancing has definitely helped me in the past and continues to be an important way for me to stay resilient. It’s a part of my conscious effort to do something I love each and every day, whether that’s dancing in a studio or in front of my bedroom mirror.

How do you feel about the future?

I am so excited for what the future holds, not only for myself, but for the world of mental health. Mental health is on people’s minds. We’re finally talking about it and taking away some of that stigma. Opening up has helped me build resilience. Talking openly about my mental health makes me realize that I have the power to create change in my life and with the right help and support, I can live a mentally healthy life. I’m hoping for a day where we are teaching resilience in school and letting everyone know that it is okay to struggle and that it is even more okay to reach out for help.

If you need help in an emergency please call 911 or visit your local emergency department. If you’re feeling like you’re in crisis, or need somebody to talk to, please know that help is also available 24/7 through community resources:

• Phone: toll-free 1-833-456-4566
• Text: 45645
• Chat: crisisservicescanada.ca

The post ‘We all have good days and bad days, but we all can work through it with the right supports’: Jessie’s story appeared first on Your Health Matters.

Kala made the decision to attend a peer-support group for BFRBs. The first step was difficult, “I thought they might think I was way too messed up for even a support meeting to help. Instead I ended up finding my second family.” Connecting with people who understand her struggles has been incredibly helpful. “I found a part of myself I didn’t know I had. Years later, I now lead the same group that helped me find my community, my self-worth and ultimately taught me there is life outside of a diagnosis. I have found purpose in adversity.”

What does resilience mean to you?

Resilience is strength. It is the ability to bend when the wind blows and to get back up when you fall down.  Resilience to me, is knowing that I cannot do this alone and that it is all right to ask for help, and seek support and love from those around you.

“Resilience to me, is knowing that I cannot do this alone and that it is all right to ask for help,” says Kala.

What are dark days like for you and how do you find strength and resilience in these moments?

Dark days always culminate with self-hatred and shame for me. Days when I allow myself to wallow in self-pity and judgement.  Days when I am left hating myself for doing this to myself, for not having the ability to stop the behaviour and for feeling like a failure, because in my moment of shame, I see only ONE way of being successful and “winning.”  That involves thick healthy hair, beautiful nails and perfect skin.  Perfection is often the top of a roller coaster ride to the bottom for me.

Sometimes the days are dark and I simply have to tell myself, “Tomorrow will be better,” and trudge on. I remind myself that I am not perfect. I am flawed and I am human. I am not my body-focused repetitive behaviour (BFRB), and I am beautiful because of my imperfections.

Strength is not equated with not ever allowing life to beat you down, in reality, strength comes from surviving the things life throws at you, getting up off the ground, dusting yourself off and going forward. Strength is crying when you need to cry or talking when you need to talk. I even have ‘Resilient’ and ‘Perfectly Imperfect’ tattooed on both of my forearms to remind myself to stop, remember my value, my strength, and to celebrate my imperfections.

What is in your “took-kit”? What are the things that help you find strength and resilience?

The number one thing I do to come to terms with my disorder is to TALK ABOUT IT. Talk about it with people I trust, those I know who love me for every quirk I have. I reach out to my best friends, my mom, and my saving grace, my monthly BFRB peer support group.  I started attending in April 2013 and it turned everything around for me.

Gaining self-acceptance of my disorder has never been easy, but I achieved it through my peer support group. Over the years I have gone from attendee to facilitator and I can honestly say that talking to others, helping them come to terms with their disorders and finding their place in the journey to self-acceptance, has become the biggest and most important thing in my life. It helps me feel like I am making a difference and that I am helping people who were in the same position as I was years ago.

I also take care of myself. Good sleep, good food and adequate exercise. I see a psychotherapist regularly and I practice mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques to help me move on from the intrusive and caustic thoughts that come on the dark days.

How do you feel about the future?

I feel hopeful. It has taken me a lot of hard work and introspection to come to terms with who I am with this disorder. Finding myself has paved the way for me to be able to look forward and see the road ahead more clearly. I am a leader, a survivor and I live my life every day with BFRBs.

You can be successful and happy, while still living with mental illness. I hope to continue making a difference in my BFRB community, spreading awareness and letting folks know that there is quality life beyond a mental health diagnosis.

If you need help in an emergency please call 911 or visit your local emergency department. If you’re feeling like you’re in crisis, or need somebody to talk to, please know that help is also available 24/7 through community resources:

• Phone: toll-free 1-833-456-4566
• Text: 45645
• Chat: crisisservicescanada.ca

The post ‘You can be successful and happy, while still living with a mental illness’: Kala’s story appeared first on Your Health Matters.

What does resilience mean to you?

When I look back to the troughs of my darkness, depression and OCD I went through just a few short years ago, I recall thinking to myself, “Am I going to feel this way forever?”

Random, unhelpful thoughts would come up in everyday situations: while coaching first base at a baseball game or while enjoying a movie with my family in our living room, “Jason, you are becoming sick and you will die.  Jason, you are a failure. Jason, there is no point.”

My brain was lying to me. They were not the thoughts I wanted to take over my mind.

After much struggling, I eventually sought counselling. I knew that something was wrong, different, and I had to find a way out of this darkness.

Resilience to me is leaving no stone unturned. I looked for help to figure out what was wrong with my brain in many different manners. These included, but are not limited to; counselling, reading, medication, exercise, diet, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness meditation, essential oils, acupuncture and music. I have established good mental fitness. I figured out how to think differently and become more at one with my “observing self,” where the focus is to be in the moment and concentrate on the present, as it is a gift.

“My dad was a journeyman electrician by trade and a very handy fellow. After he passed, I looked for something that I could have on me at all times to remind me of my dad. Among his things, I found a square-cut nail that he’d shaped into a pinky ring.
I now wear it and use it to keep me in the present.  If I feel my anxiety in any situation elevating, I simply press the head of the nail, which sits inside my pinky, and it has a calming effect. Thanks Dad!” says Jason

What are dark days like for you and how do you find strength and resilience in these moments?

The dark days are ones where my random thoughts take over and my “thinking self” attempts to sway my awareness into believing lies.

In ACT the “thinking self,” is part of the mind that produces unhelpful thoughts, while the “observing self” is non-judgemental and is more of an awareness of what you are experiencing.

I suffered from a compulsion over the fear of ALS, as my father and grandfather both passed from the disease.  My “observing self” is now part of my ACT training of acceptance that enables me to be more mindful.

Resilience is formed by my acceptance that while random unhelpful thoughts are normal, I do not battle those thoughts anymore. Instead of giving into this, I accept that the thought is not beneficial and I “turn the volume down” like it is a radio playing in the background. I focus on how I am so thankful and grateful for all of the love in my life.

What is in your “tool-kit”? What are the things that help you find strength and resilience?

Establishing good mental fitness makes me feel empowered.

My personal tool-kit includes a combination of many items. These would include meditation, music, going for walks with my wife, exercise, diet, movies and television. Reading has been a great tool and led me to a book that helped me learn more about ACT and how to implement it in my life. It has made an incredible difference in improving my mindset and way of thinking.

For example, I used to pay attention and obsess as my “thinking self” would proclaim, “Jason, you are going to get ill and die.” Now, my “observing self” acts upon that statement with acceptance and awareness and replies, “Thank you for making me aware.  I accept that the thought is unhelpful and I will simply turn the directive to a lower tone” – kind of like white noise.

How do you feel about the future?

The thing about surviving mental illness is that it has empowered me.

I am a much more aware, sincere and grateful father, husband, friend, colleague, worker and manager. Due to the resilience of wanting to find an answer and wanting to get better, I have found peace.

I could not have rebalanced my brain without persevering through many onerous struggles. I had to work at it and I worked hard. That’s the key. One has to realize that having a mental illness is not your fault, it happens to the best of us.

It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain. BUT, the perseverance of finding an acceptable equilibrium is crucial.  It wasn’t happiness per se that I was looking for. Simply, to find peace within the life we live, to accept the challenges as well as the smiles, and to love the ones we cherish.

As for the future? I abide by the William Blake quote, “To see the world in a grain of sand, and to see heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour.”

If you need help in an emergency please call 911 or visit your local emergency department. If you’re feeling like you’re in crisis, or need somebody to talk to, please know that help is also available 24/7 through community resources:

• Phone: toll-free 1-833-456-4566
• Text: 45645
• Chat: crisisservicescanada.ca

The post ‘The thing about surviving mental illness is that it has empowered me’: Jason’s story appeared first on Your Health Matters.

After being admitted to hospital, and with the help of family, friends, therapy and medication, Virginia gradually felt better. Looking back, she says reaching out for help when she was feeling suicidal was a pivotal moment, “I was scared and thought my life was never going to be the same if I said something and asked for help. It was not the case. I had so much support. It was like a weight was lifted.”

Virginia hopes sharing her story will help others realize they’re not alone. She recently started a running club, combining her passions for running and raising awareness about mental illness.

“If we share our stories and support each other we can lift each other up without judgement.”

What does resilience mean to you?

To me, resilience is about hope.

In the spring of 2017, I had a depressive episode so severe I didn’t think I would ever recover.

It was during this period that I discovered hope. Every day I hoped. I hoped to return to my former smiling self. I hoped the feelings of emptiness would eventually fade away. I hoped that day-by-day I would slowly get better.

When I lost hope, I asked for help. I left the hoping to my family and doctors. They picked up the slack when I couldn’t hope for myself. Knowing others were hoping for me meant I wasn’t alone – it meant I couldn’t give up.

Hope is what got me through.

“When I was at my absolute darkest, I reminded myself to never give up and to be patient. There are sparkles at the end of the tunnel,” says Virginia.

What are dark days like for you and how do you find strength and resilience in these moments?

Looking back at my depressive episode in 2017, I felt empty on dark days. Those were the days when I didn’t have anything to say. When I refused to leave my mother’s side because I was terrified of being alone. When I peered at myself in the bathroom mirror and recoiled at the imposter occupying my body.

On those days, I turned to my family for help. I called my psychiatrist. I reminded myself that just like any other illness, I needed support from my family and the medical community.

Back then, I also reminded myself of a comment from a former manager after an encounter with some brash customers, “Never let anyone dull your sparkle.”

When I was at my absolute darkest, I reminded myself to never give up and to be patient. There are sparkles at the end of the tunnel.

What is in your “tool-kit”? What are the things that help you find strength and resilience?

My Tool-Kit

Running: I love to run. Running clears my head. I find it incredibly therapeutic. There’s also a real sense of camaraderie amongst runners. I like feeling like I’m part of something. Most recently, I created a running group that is raising awareness about mental health. It’s how I’m shattering the stigma of mental illness.

My mom: I call my mom. That woman is an angel. When I was sick, she never left my side. That’s not an exaggeration. She literally never left my side for four months. Not once.

Puzzles with Dad : I like to do jigsaw puzzles with my dad. It’s really mindless but I like being able to spend time with someone, without having to talk, and just focus on filling in the pieces.

Kindness: I made a wonderful friend in the psych ward. He was quite a bit older but we shared a love of movie nights.

He was discharged from Sunnybrook before me. When he left he gave me a present. It was a little metal ornament from the gift shop. It said, “Be Kind to Yourself.”

On those dark days, when I was filled with self-doubt, I remembered him and his gift.

I am kind to others. Why would I ever forget to be kind to myself?

How do you feel about the future?

Seven years ago, if you asked me how I felt about the future, I would have said ‘fearful.’

I was worried that my life would be in a constant state of flux. I was scared I would never achieve anything notable because of my mental illness.

It turns out, I was wrong and my illness can be managed with proper medication and a healthy lifestyle.

Nowadays, I think my future is on a fairly similar trajectory to most people my age.

I am enjoying my career in marketing. I signed up for another marathon in the spring.

I even just bought a cookbook and am looking forward to making my way through it.

I have experienced hurdles along my journey, and they have been hard, but I am hopeful for the future. I think it looks promising!

The post ‘There are sparkles at the end of the tunnel’: Virginia’s story appeared first on Your Health Matters.