After a normal and uneventful pregnancy, at 26 weeks Amy began to experience preterm labour symptoms. The couple were transferred from their local hospital in Stratford to a London hospital, and then to Toronto. Owen was born at 29 weeks with a condition called pericardial teratoma (a mass on his heart) and had a lengthy stay in the hospital with numerous procedures and surgery. He died in Amy’s arms when he was 109 days old.

“There are significant dates with Owen that we pause, we smile and we cry. But most importantly we remember. Most parents get years with their children and have many opportunities to share stories and memories. Being a bereaved parent is much different. There are only a handful of dates for us so October 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, is one for all of us to be able to share our stories and carry on the loving memory of our babies gone far too soon,” says Amy.

Across the world, October 15^th is marked with an International Wave of Light, intended to represent a continuous chain of light spanning the globe for 24 hours. To support bereaved families, friends and loved ones can come together light a candle at 7 p.m. Candles burn for an hour, representing the global Wave of Light.

For families, the day of remembrance is both healing and inspirational after losing a pregnancy or having a stillbirth. “Remembering their baby, and the hopes and dreams they had for their child, is such an important step in healing from a loss,” says Michelle LaFontaine, Program Manager, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network. “The day of remembrance provides a safe space to share their pain, receive support and truly be heard.”

The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network has some tips for how friends and family can support those who have had a pregnancy loss or stillbirth:

1. Attend a remembrance event – Attending and offering a hug can be such an affirmation to families, and shows you care about their well-being and healing.
2. Listen to their story – If your friend or loved one wants to talk about their grieving, spend time listening. Just by listening, you acknowledge their pain and grief.
3. Ask what is needed – Grief impacts everyone differently. Some families may wish to have their loss acknowledged during holidays, others may prefer to grieve privately which might mean missing family dinners or other gatherings.

Amy is now a peer support volunteer with the PAIL Network, drawing on her own experience to support other women and families who have had a loss. On October 15^th, Amy and Rick will gather with friends and family to light candles and remember their son who they call the “biggest little warrior.”

“The love we have for Owen is what got us through all those gruelling days and continues to keep us moving forward,” says Amy.

The post For grieving parents, October 15 is a day of remembrance appeared first on Your Health Matters.

After a family she was caring for recently experienced a pregnancy loss, Dianne realized there was a gap in her knowledge. “It was really an ‘ah-ha moment’ where I realized these families have unique care needs. In particular, those first words to someone whose baby has died, and how to respond compassionately to women and their families. I want to provide the best care I can when someone has a loss.”

Dianne was familiar with the Pregnancy & Infant Loss (PAIL) Network; some of her patients had used their peer-to-peer resources. When she learned about the network’s Compassionate Care Workshops for professionals, she jumped at the opportunity.

“I knew these workshops were exactly what our local health care and social services community needed,” says Dianne, who works as a member of a professional group serving five small communities with a combined population of about 4500.

A workshop was arranged for the northern community, covering grief, cultural safety and what to say and not say during a loss. Two facilitators were present, one a professional with experience caring for families who have had a pregnancy or infant loss, and one with lived experience of loss.  Another parent came from Kenora to share about her lived experience of loss.

The group quickly identified a challenge. Most women in the area do not deliver in Red Lake.  They travel to a variety of communities, including Dryden, Kenora, Thunder Bay or Winnipeg to deliver their babies. Hospitals sometimes don’t have a process for returning remains to the families’ local community, a huge stress for families anxious to arrange a memorial for their baby.

Together with facilitators, the group brainstormed ways to support families through the grieving process. Attendees proposed using an existing committee to develop a community plan to support families. A local committee marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day on October 15 each year.

“We are a very small community, and people don’t always want to talk about their loss and their grief with friends, family and neighbours who live here. For some, it can be comforting to have anonymity when speaking about your own experience and journey,” explains Dianne. Useful tips were provided accessing PAIL’s peer-to-peer resources available to families, linking them with others across Ontario who have had a loss.

Dianne says the session was jam-packed, and attendees particularly liked the focus on family experiences and memory-making.

“You can never have enough information. The workshop provided us with the tools to support and care for our local families. We are grateful,” says Dianne.

For more information and resources on supporting families, please visit PAIL. To see upcoming Compassionate Care Workshops, please visit here. If you have questions, please email pailnetwork@sunnybrook.ca or call 888-303-7245 (PAIL).

The post Caring for families experiencing a loss appeared first on Your Health Matters.