“We’re seeing more anxiety and depression in young people, with many of them reporting feelings of loneliness,” says Dr. Carolyn Boulos, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Sunnybrook and assistant professor at University of Toronto.

Shyness as a child can become social anxiety as an adolescent or adult

Children may worry about making friends at a new school, or teenagers may worry about being judged by their peers. As we get older, this may result in social anxiety, making it difficult to practice social skills and causing us to feel more isolated.

FOMO is real

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is alive and well.

“A young person who is feeling lonely may see their friends post about the fun and interesting things they’re doing on social media, making the feeling of loneliness intensify,” says Dr. Boulos.

Parents can be lonely, too

Young people who report feelings of loneliness may lack the ability to develop intimacy in relationships, particularly if their parents have had similar upbringing. Lacking these tools may make it difficult to know how to navigate and build social relationships.

“Parents can be lonely too,” says Dr. Boulos. “Perhaps their relationship has ended, or they are feeling misunderstood by their partners or children. Parents should model healthy behaviours within their relationships, as their children are likely to copy what they see.”

Social media is a blessing and a curse

Social media may connect us, but are these connections meaningful? Apps and texting can be useful tools to supplement communication, but it shouldn’t become the primary way that we connect with one another.

“Someone who doesn’t feel comfortable socializing in person may find others online to connect with, but these are not physical friends. The opportunity to learn and practice social cues is lacking.” says Dr. Boulos.

So, what can we do to combat feelings of loneliness? Dr. Boulos has a few tips:

1) Make a date – with your child, parents, family or friends

Not all dates need to be romantic. Take time to reconnect with people who are important in your life.

“It’s important to show kindness and respect to each other, and that starts with taking time to talk and listen to one another without distractions,” says Dr. Boulos.

Doing something together could be as simple as going for a walk, going bowling, grabbing a coffee or participating in shared interests.

2) Set aside some time with others, without the screens

With all the time we spend on our phones and in front of screens, Dr. Boulos is noticing that more patients have a harder time making eye contact.

“Young people are losing the ability to identify social cues because they’re constantly in front of a screen. Parents are using technology more too, meaning that overall, there is far less casual conversation going on, whether it’s in the car or at the dinner table,” she says.

Make time away from the screens to reconnect, have a conversation, share a meal – all of these things will help to keep feelings of loneliness at bay, and build intimacy and understanding in relationships.

3) Physical touch is important

As our communications are becoming more often electronic, it’s important as social beings that we retain human contact – this helps us remain connected to others and to not feel lonely.

“Chemically, a lot of important things happen in our bodies when we touch, even if it’s just a quick hug,” says Dr. Boulos. “Touch can provide a sense of intimacy, security and happiness, as well as decrease stress and improve our overall health.”

More on the topic:

Infographic: How loneliness affects our health

It is important to know that you are not alone. If you or someone you know is suffering, help is available. Find resources and information at sunnybrook.ca/gethelp

The post 3 tips to avoid loneliness at any age appeared first on Your Health Matters.

With thanks to Dr. Carolyn Boulos, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Sunnybrook and assistant professor at University of Toronto.

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How the epidemic of loneliness if affecting our health

Rated of loneliness have doubled in the past three decades

Loneliness now affects 1 in 4 people

Loneliness is associated with…

Chronic disorders like heart disease, type 2 diabetes and Alzheimer’s

Mental illness, which was identified as a risk factor of loneliness as early as the 1950s

Depression and social withdrawal from intimacy in relationships with family and friends

Inflammation and impaired immune system from the chronic release of cortisol, a stress hormone

Premature death in the elderly from a lack of social interaction

Changes in gene expression from living in a stressful, lonely environment

Tips to fight loneliness

The quality of relationships, not the number, is key to being connected and understood

1. Share a meal or a walk – without screens. Being connected and social has health benefits as important as exercise. It will do your heart wonders, and result in more restful sleep.

2. Increase physical touch. It’s important for our nervous system, promoting feelings of safety and connection.

3. Connect with others who have similar interests. Groups with similar interests can help support healthier lifestyles and decrease loneliness.

4. Don’t underestimate the power of community. Connection, intimacy and feeling understood is the best medicine.

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More on this topic

A psychiatrist’s tips for avoiding & combating loneliness

It is important to know that you are not alone. If you or someone you know is suffering, help is available. Find resources and information at sunnybrook.ca/gethelp

The post How the epidemic of loneliness is affecting our health appeared first on Your Health Matters.