“We’re seeing more anxiety and depression in young people, with many of them reporting feelings of loneliness,” says Dr. Carolyn Boulos, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Sunnybrook and assistant professor at University of Toronto.

Shyness as a child can become social anxiety as an adolescent or adult

Children may worry about making friends at a new school, or teenagers may worry about being judged by their peers. As we get older, this may result in social anxiety, making it difficult to practice social skills and causing us to feel more isolated.

FOMO is real

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is alive and well.

“A young person who is feeling lonely may see their friends post about the fun and interesting things they’re doing on social media, making the feeling of loneliness intensify,” says Dr. Boulos.

Parents can be lonely, too

Young people who report feelings of loneliness may lack the ability to develop intimacy in relationships, particularly if their parents have had similar upbringing. Lacking these tools may make it difficult to know how to navigate and build social relationships.

“Parents can be lonely too,” says Dr. Boulos. “Perhaps their relationship has ended, or they are feeling misunderstood by their partners or children. Parents should model healthy behaviours within their relationships, as their children are likely to copy what they see.”

Social media is a blessing and a curse

Social media may connect us, but are these connections meaningful? Apps and texting can be useful tools to supplement communication, but it shouldn’t become the primary way that we connect with one another.

“Someone who doesn’t feel comfortable socializing in person may find others online to connect with, but these are not physical friends. The opportunity to learn and practice social cues is lacking.” says Dr. Boulos.

So, what can we do to combat feelings of loneliness? Dr. Boulos has a few tips:

1) Make a date – with your child, parents, family or friends

Not all dates need to be romantic. Take time to reconnect with people who are important in your life.

“It’s important to show kindness and respect to each other, and that starts with taking time to talk and listen to one another without distractions,” says Dr. Boulos.

Doing something together could be as simple as going for a walk, going bowling, grabbing a coffee or participating in shared interests.

2) Set aside some time with others, without the screens

With all the time we spend on our phones and in front of screens, Dr. Boulos is noticing that more patients have a harder time making eye contact.

“Young people are losing the ability to identify social cues because they’re constantly in front of a screen. Parents are using technology more too, meaning that overall, there is far less casual conversation going on, whether it’s in the car or at the dinner table,” she says.

Make time away from the screens to reconnect, have a conversation, share a meal – all of these things will help to keep feelings of loneliness at bay, and build intimacy and understanding in relationships.

3) Physical touch is important

As our communications are becoming more often electronic, it’s important as social beings that we retain human contact – this helps us remain connected to others and to not feel lonely.

“Chemically, a lot of important things happen in our bodies when we touch, even if it’s just a quick hug,” says Dr. Boulos. “Touch can provide a sense of intimacy, security and happiness, as well as decrease stress and improve our overall health.”

More on the topic:

Infographic: How loneliness affects our health

It is important to know that you are not alone. If you or someone you know is suffering, help is available. Find resources and information at sunnybrook.ca/gethelp

The post 3 tips to avoid loneliness at any age appeared first on Your Health Matters.

Eighteen years ago, emergency physician Dr. Michael Schull met his future wife, radiologist Dr. Josee Sarrazin, while attending to a particularly horrific trauma patient. “I was a resident on the trauma team, and Josee was a radiology fellow,” recalls Dr. Schull. “It was a severe trauma and we needed a bedside ultrasound. She came in and I noticed her, and made a point of visiting radiology quite frequently after that!”

“The way he got me was by pronouncing my name correctly, “ Josee laughs. So he almost had her at bonjour!

I only had to ask around for a minute to find out there are many other couples within the 10,000 other employees here at Sunnybrook. And the situation is the same at hospitals across the country. Sex and relationship columnist Josey Vogels isn’t surprised. “Comments from people in the same profession or field indicate that there is a shorthand there,” she told me over the phone. “You understand each other’s world. Even some of the emotional stuff, you just don’t have to explain things.”

Drs. Schull and Sarrazin agree. “When you’re working hard, you’ve got the four walls of the hospital so you tend to find people within that domain. And they often understand what your life is like, and what your work’s like.”

That said, no matter what your profession, Vogels insists that you have to work hard to keep things real. That means taking time for conversations other than work (and kids, and bills, and other general mood killers!) Don’t overlook the big impact of small gestures. And realize the perfect Valentine’s Day gift is more about the time, and not the money, you spend.

Drs. Schull and Sarrazin made a conscious decision to live close to the hospital, knowing their busy schedules would only be further stressed by a long commute. “Practically, we drive to work together most days, our kids go to school nearby so we can drop them off,” says Dr. Schull. “And even though we don’t have lunch together very often, I’ll pop by to say hello or bring by coffee.”

In other words, they still care and make an effort. And anyone who is married or otherwise committed will tell you, that’s real romance. Happy Valentine’s Day!

The post Love is in the air… and in the hospital! appeared first on Your Health Matters.