Like many families, the McInroys have fun celebrating birthdays and holidays like Christmas. Birthday cakes are baked and decorated, stockings are hung, all the usual traditions.
The occasions present an opportunity for Loralee and her husband Jesse to honor and remember their middle child, Angel, who died in 2014 at 22 weeks of pregnancy. Angel’s stocking is hung, together with those for their living children, Harper and Brooklyn.
Loralee is taking her firsthand experience, and 10 years of providing peer support with Sunnybrook’s Pregnancy and Infant Loss (PAIL) Network, into a new family navigation role to help families following a loss. From connecting parents with other families who have had a similar type of loss, to practical tips on bereavement leave, Loralee’s work will boost support for grieving families across the province.
The Ontario Ministry of Health recently provided a funding increase to expand the PAIL Network to make sure that families in the province have access to the care and support required after a pregnancy or infant loss.
The role will involve assessing geographic gaps in peer-support in Ontario. After underserved areas are identified, Loralee will collaborate with families to hear their thoughts on the most impactful way to address grief and care needs.
“There are many practical questions that come up for grieving parents. ‘How do I arrange a burial? What government benefits are available? How do I speak with my employer?’ I assist families through this difficult period by providing them with essential information and connecting them with our peer support volunteers,” explains Loralee, noting the navigation component of her role excites her.
Technology challenges in rural and remote communities are another part of the work, with the PAIL Network recently launching a pilot to provide iPads and wireless connectivity to families in Indigenous communities in northern Ontario.
Loralee’s candidness about her own journey with grief helps families to open up about their own loss. She says Angel’s death was incredibly difficult, and it was helpful to “feel all the feelings, and not push anything down.” She admits a dual focus when she was grieving, as she was aware of not only of the grief she shared with her husband, but also making sure her living children were managing.
“You need to meet kids where they’re at in terms of helping them understand grief,” she says. “I always remind myself kids are just like adults in that everyone deals with grief differently. My son loves journaling to explore his feelings, and my daughter prefers to talk things through.”
Each day, Loralee focuses on building a meaningful life after loss both for herself and her family, and the many families across Ontario she helps every day.