When parents first enter into the NICU for the first time, most of us can’t imagine that we’ll ever get used to it. It seems like such a strange environment … it’s “NICU World”, full of beeps, machines, numbers and lots and lots of people. Not quite like an amusement park, despite the frequent references to rollercoasters.
With time, though, it does become familiar … and then by that point we are either transferred to another hospital or discharged home. Just as we’ve learned all the ways of this new world, we’re sent to another. And Home World looks quite a bit different from the NICU.
So are all the lessons we learn in this strange NICU World wasted? What can we leave behind? What can we take with us?
With the help of some graduate NICU parents who have spent time in both NICU World and Home World, we’ve come up with some helpful lists.
We will leave behind in NICU World …
- reliance on monitors and other things that beep. We probably won’t need these in Home World. We’ll get by just fine with our own knowledge of our baby and our 5 senses. We’ll know when something’s wrong and we won’t hesitate to ask for help. If we do have a monitor, we will remember that it’s a useful tool, but not more important than we are!
- hospital schedules. In Home World babies don’t have to do everything on a 3 hour schedule, and they certainly won’t need their temperature taken before every feeding. We’ll recognize that as our baby grows his or her rhythms will change too.
- daily weights. We’ll have to give up our fascination with those numbers! Instead, we’ll pay attention to our baby’s cues and to numbers of wet and soiled diapers.
We’ll take with us …
- the knowledge that we are the best medicine for our baby. Our touch, our smell, the taste of our milk, our love, our patience, the sound of our voice, our presence. These are what matter most to our children.
- good hand hygiene and infection control habits. We may find that others in Home World think we’re being too uptight. WRONG! For the first year after our baby comes home, we’ll follow the same hand hygiene rules as we did in the hospital, and we’ll tell our friends and family not to visit if they’re sick. After that, if all goes well, we’ll relax … a little.
- an appreciation of the day-to-day joy of being with our children. Our babies are going to continue to move forward to the beat of their own drum. That was hard for us when in the NICU, and it will continue to be hard, especially when we are surrounded by families who are having different experiences. When it gets really hard, we will hug our babies and remember just how far they’ve come. We will celebrate every milestone and not take anything for granted.
- the willingness to ask questions and work with a team. Just as our questions, insights and comments were vital to the wellbeing of our baby in the NICU, they still are once we’ve gone home. We’ve learned that it’s important to speak up and we won’t forget that lesson.
- the friendships we’ve made with other NICU families and staff. They more than anyone else understand what it’s like. We will treasure these friendships for the rest of our lives.
