Today’s very special … it’s Jordan’s 3rd birthday, and a perfect day for this beautiful post from his proud mother.
When I was pregnant with my son Jordan, I just hoped to have a baby. It did not matter whether it was a boy or a girl. I had experienced multiple losses and major complications with him, so what I wanted was a surviving baby. Jordan was born at 24 weeks, and went through a very critical illness. We thought we were going to lose him, and knew if he survived that we would have a special needs child.
Welcome to the present time! We have a healthy, happy, little 3 year old boy. Oh yes … I should mention that he has severe cerebral palsy, hearing and vision impairment, and a host of other medical issues. BUT those diagnoses do not define my son; they are just some complications that he has to deal with. I always tell people that no one is perfect and Jordan’s imperfections are just a little more visible than others. Don’t get me wrong … we were devastated at the diagnoses, but it was more because of the unknown future we faced, and not because we would have a special needs child.
We truly 100% love Jordan for who he is and all of his accomplishments. I have had people say to me, ‘Well, he can’t really do much’. I should also mention that Jordan has not reached any of the typical milestones, not even holding his head. Who cares?
Jordan knows how to play, laugh and enjoy his life. To us, those are the greatest of milestones. Jordan has accomplished more in his little life than most people will in a lifetime. First he went through the trauma of being a micro preemie and now he has to live through the life of being special needs. It makes me exhausted even thinking about everything he goes through on a daily basis. But he knows that we love him no matter what and will help him and fight for everything he needs and deserves.
You say, why would you have to fight? People in our society are not too giving and understanding when it comes to special needs. They do not feel that people with special needs are ‘worth it’ or they ask ‘what is the the point?’ Yes, we have had this said to us multiple times. So as parents, we have to advocate every day to make sure our kids get the treatment, services and respect that they deserve as people. Some people forget that our kids are human and part of our society. Let me tell you … taking care of Jordan is enjoyable and fun, but the exhausting part of our life with him is dealing with society. It is truly draining some days, and then I look at my giggly little boy and it gives me the strength to keep going and fighting for him.
I believe that one of the most important things about raising a child with special needs is cultivating POSITIVITY and finding a community of people that have things in common with you and your family. I cannot stress enough how much positivity changes everything. Being positive about our situation helps us raise Jordan better, deal with healthcare professionals more effectively, and overall makes life easier and happier. We have had negative professionals in our life, and we have gotten rid of them. No need for negativity. It just brings you down. This is also why community is important.
Understanding people will support you through everything. Our community loves our son for who he is and not what he can do. We have become very close with many people who see Jordan as a beautiful little boy full of life, not judging him by his accomplishments. Life has become easier with these types of people supporting us. We are truly grateful to have these people in our lives.
My husband and I love Jordan the way he is. He is our son and we are very proud of him. Jordan has taught us about the most primal love that parents have for their child. Unconditional love. There is no wishing he was ‘typical’ because he brings us so much joy just the way he is. Jordan is not blessed to have us as parents. We are truly blessed to have him as our son.
Cheryl R.
Wow. Beautiful post.